by Pat on Apr 5, 2009 at 4:34 PM
Filed in Autism Family Facts | Christian Autism Stories | Parenting Autistic Children | Stories from Readers
When our second daughter was born, we went home to face the most difficult journey in life. Within a few days, she began crying nonstop. She was either sleeping or crying. We saw doctors and emergency room personnel, but nobody knew what was going on. I was unable to return to work due to her fragility, and we sunk into financial problems. We made necessary adjustments to make ends meet, but its never been the same. The cost have been enormous, financially and emotionally.
She was diagnosed at 21 months of age. We had placed her in a mom's day out at our local church and the teacher noticed that she didn't play with the other children. She stayed by herself and would babble quietly. She suggested we speak to our pediatrician about it. I scheduled a "developmental assessment" at 16 months of age. He sent us to Vanderbilt University to their child development center. A Team of professionals evaluated her and gave her her "label" for life: Autism. It has defined our lives in too many ways to list, but I'll try to give a few:
*Preschool programs wouldn't take her since she couldn't stay
focused on their program. It was too much work for the teacher.
*One church asked us never to bring her back since she couldn't
keep her shoes on.
*We had insurance struggles since they won't cover her "condition".
(my husband is considered self-employed).
*Since my husband is a pastor, churches always consider that he
has an "autistic child".
*People in public places always seem to want to share their evaluation
such as "she needs a spanking", or "your child is very rude". (she
stands to close to people or tends to jump line).
Even though her autism has been a very difficult aspect of life, there are blessings along the way. She couldn't speak until she was around 5 years old. When she did began using language functionally, we would celebrate every little acheivement. Developmental milestones are no longer taken for granted. It makes you more focused on life's little blessings. God has shown me His love for the helpless and broken. When she frustrates me, God reminds me that I do the same things but he still loves me and is long suffering with my frailities.
She is now almost 13. This has brought about a new phase of development that offers new challenges. She is in school, mostly inclusion classes except for math which is SPED. She is very bright and very artistic. She draws all the time. The teachers complain that she draws when she gets bored. I send a package of school paper every week. When I check her bookbag, half of the paper is used up with her cartoon like sketches. She does extremely well with writing, spelling and vocabulary, which is odd since her secondary diagnosis is language disorder.
She still spends a lot of time in her autistic world. She loves to use the computer to enjoy her interests. She loves to ride her scooter around the neighborhood and jump on the trampoline. She has no interest in boys. She thinks they are annoying and they smell bad. She does love children. We have a 2 year old boy and a 9 month old boy. She is very helpful with the children, and will rock the baby to sleep. I'm glad she has her little brothers to care for since this makes her step outside of her selfishness and think of someone else. People used to tell me to have no more children since they could have the condition as well. I thought the risk was worth it. Having a bigger family has had an advantage for her. She will have people to care for her (and love her) all of her life.
I am more optimistic about her future than I used to be. It's difficult to keep a positive outlook when the autistic child is small. There are so many challenges that's its tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But God has a plan for every child, and that has always been my hope. I keep a scripture close to my heart to remind me "For I know the plans that I have for you...A hope for the future. I now look forward to seeing that future.