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Mom Asks for Input About Difference in Son's Behavior

by Pat on Feb 28, 2009 at 5:53 PM Filed in Autism and Education | Parenting Autistic Children | Stories from Readers
I have a 12 year old son named Joseph. He is a great kid who has Autism PDD-NOS. My question is this. When I go to his IEP meeting they all tell me how normal Joseph is and he relates great with other kids. This is a different Joseph from home. There are days when he comes home frustrated, with headaches or wants to just sleep. He will talk to me a little about his fears. he ask me questions like MOM am I stupid or fat or he will state he is not really good at anything. They see a different child. I am so glad he is doing well in school, but this is not the meltdowns that I see. Is this normal?

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2/28/2009 6:55:52 PM

I can't say that I have ever been told that my children are "normal" and interact with other kids well at school. I find this unusual. Normally, you see much of the same behavior at school and at home.

Pat

3/4/2009 4:31:00 AM

I completely understand. My son will be 13 in 12 days! Eeek!! His teachers only complain of his disorganization but his behavior is great. He also gets headaches from time to time and it is like pulling teeth each day to get him to tell me a little bit about his day. And then at home he is constantly talking back, arguing, responding to conversations between his younger brother and I and all are often all quite negative. It is very frustrating trying to either ignore him so I am not acknowledging the behavior and explaining to him each and every time why it is in appropriate and disrespectful so that he learns to hold his tongue later in life when he really needs to.
One of his teachers also told me he is nothing different from a typical jr high boy after providing them with information about him having aspergers.

he has asked before if I thought he was fat or stupid. Most of the time he is actually quite full of himself! But that may also be a good step in the right direction of him obtaining some sense of empathy and how others feel towards him, albeit negatively so far, but he is showing awareness of others around him and how he appears to them. with a mix of puberty of course!

Just reassure him an extra amount telling him how wonderfully made and exquisite he is with lots of hugs and rubs if he likes that kind of stimulation to calm him. I hug my son and be sure to rub his cheeks and ears and hair while I hug him. it makes him feel validated and recognized, not to mention, his calming stimuli.

doll

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