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Autism Takes Away Your Choices

by Pat on Dec 23, 2008 at 3:02 PM Filed in Parenting Autistic Children | Stories from Readers | Christian Autism Stories
Autism takes away your choices and dictates your life. You no longer have control of what you might feel like you want to do, but you have to do what the autism will allow. My husband and I have 4 children, 3 of whom are on the autism spectrum. I have twin boys that are 8 years old and have Asperger's syndrome and we have a younger daughter who is 3 and has severe autism. We are struggling daily with why God has chosen this path for us and feel trapped that we can't or don't dare have any more children that might run the risk of having autism. The choice of family planning has been taken away from us by autism.

We would love to go on a vacation, go to a restaurant, an amusement park or a crowded mall. We can do things these with a lot of help and struggle, but autism has dictated that it can't be easy. Families with typical kids have no idea.

I am a stay-at-home mom and wanted to be home with my toddler every day, taking her to story time at the library, playing Play-Doh with her at home and watching Sesame Street. The autism has dictated that she be in a medical facility getting therapy 40 hours a week. I know this is the best thing for her, but it was an internal struggle I fought for a long time.

Autism takes away your choices but we haven't let it completely run our lives. We have hope and laughter and keep focused on the blessings that God has given us. Each little triumph and hurdle we cross is a celebration for us where other families would take it for granted as "no big deal".

We have definitely been through the grieving process in our lives. Anger, sadness, resentment and now acceptance.

God has given us some very special children to parent for a reason and we wouldn't trade them for anything! (Well most days anyway!)

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12/29/2008 8:40:09 PM

I only have one child on the spectrum with mild aspergers and I agree with you. It takes away choices. I too had to say goodbye to my child during the day to receive therapy at an early age. Its a benefit but its forced. I don't like to get that one liner from other parents telling me how I can easily make it better. Don't get me wrong some advice is good but not the ones that undermine the difficulty of reality that certain things are more tiring or challenging for a parent with a child on the spectrum. I love my child but the symptoms on the spectrum hurt. That should not be undermined. Good luck with balancing your days.

Heather

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