Hello again Pat,

A few months ago had written a message not knowing you would personally respond to.Just wanted to give you a little update. In my last email I sent to you; I said I had seen you on a TV show and wrote your web site address because I related to the situations that you had been dealing with your children.And I submitted some examples about the Christmas lights and the decorations on our tree;and him spinning in a circle while his eyes looked in the opposite direction and how he couldn't eat warm foods.

At the momment I had written to you I had no insurance and was holding back to get my son tested.( I didnt know there were some free services but are very limited)He now has insurance and was imediately seen by his physician he was waiting patiently since he knew of my situation. As soon as he was seen he was ordered STAT to a pediatric neorologist, on June 3 he was seen and diagnosed with sensory integration disorder.I relayed the diagnoses to my pediatrician and he was upset said NO that is not it.So he is sending me for a second opinion. Since we live in Arizona the neorologist made a referal to AZEIP (Arizona Early Intervention Program) we had a nurse come to our home for an interview.She was there with us well over an hour and he didn't try to look at her or interact with her. She would call to him and try to get him to play with her and he didnt respond.She said to me he had many signs of Autisim and his speech is delayed by more than 50%.She told me their program only offers one type of therapy at a time but due to the fact that she had some major concerns she was going to talk to her supervisor and get my son into Ocupational therapy and Speech therapy.She to said it was a good idea to get the second opinon and to get him seen by a Developmental Pediatrician and a Pediatric Audiologist for a diagnoses.

The one concern I'm now starting to have is that I see him getting more aggressive and he is beginning to hit us with whatever object he has in his hand and he even went as far as biting my sons shoulder yesterday and wouldnt let go. I'm speaking about this to his doctor tomorrow so I will wait and see when he gets to see the pediatric neorologist or developmental pediatrician.Your website is very helpful and easy to navigate.

Thank You Pat

Patience is a gift that we share with our children.

I am a preschool teacher here in Ft.Pierce Florida. I was in a classroom setting about 2 years ago. I had a new child that came into my classroom. The parents wanted this child in a setting with other children. At the time the child was not speaking nor interacting with the other children or his siblings. One day after the child was in my class for a couple of days, I noticed that the child whenever we had our circle time, he would turn completely around and not even listen to our songs, stories etc. At the time I was enrolled in a disabality class for children with special needs. After me doing several different startigies. It came to my conclusion that the child had something wrong. At the age of 3 1/2 the child should be talking but he was doing nothing. He couldn't put together a puzzle. Never the less one day after bringing it to our director's attention, we had a conference with the parents and they were in total denial. After about 2 weeks of being in school, one day the father came in and saw his child was only sitting by himself and asked me if he was always like this and to make a long story short, the next day he was tested and was diganoised with Austism. The child is now in a special needs class and is trying to talk at the age of 5 years old. Jan

I am the mother of three beautiful boys. Our middle son was born in february of 2001. He was a happy, healthy baby. He seemed to hit all of the milestones at the exact time all the baby books said he should. He smiled, laughed, walked, and began to talk, but at age 18 months he began to regress. He went from a 25 to 30 word vocabulary to 3 words, momma, dada, and baba. Everything else he wanted he would point and screem. His eye contact at this point was nonexistent and he began lining up his toys and other objects. I recognized the signs because I have a nephew who is severly autistic that is 2 and a half years older than my son. I contacted every organization I could find to get services for him. So at age 2 we started with speech, ot, and pt 3 to 4 times a week in our home. We were sent to specialists and at age 3 he was diagnosed. Since then we have struggled with acceptance by others, especially family. My husband and I do everything for our children. He is a stay at home dad because it is almost imposible to find childcare from someone who can deal with the emotional side of this disorder. I now work full time as a personal care aid for my severly autistic nephew. Our son is now in the 2nd grade. He is in a regular class and is doing well. He has a full time aid with him in school to keep him on track. But our hope is he will not need this for long.

My son was born March 7th 1994. He was a large Baby 10lbs 22inches long. He topped the weight and growth charts at the Pediatrician's office. Though he always lagged behind in the milestone charts. We were assured by our Pediatrician that all child develop at their own pace. He made eye contact for only seconds at a time and then become mesmerized by my hair or clothing or any movement from curtains and things like that.

at 6 Months He began rolling over
at 9 Months he began crawling
at 12 Months he began pulling himself up and trying to walk and continued repetative babbling.
at 15 Months he was finally walking on his own and we noticed he would open and close his hands rapidly all the time. My Husband and I thought it was just something cute he was doing with his hands.
When he became excited and happy he would flap his hands stand on his tippy toes and get a really focused "pucker face" look. This is when he began humming (rather then talking).

We had taken him to the pediatrician often and always told him about the things we were noticing and the lack of "Momma and Dadda" type speech. We were assured that we had a healthy baby and that children develope at their own speeds and not to force or rush anything.
At 18months, ur daughter was born. Our son, at first did not like her at all. If I was holding her, he would try and push her out of my arms and hum at me.
He then began to mimic her. Want to drink from the bottle laying beside her. He would hold her hand and suck on a pacifier if that is what she was doing. When she would babble and coo, he would babble and coo with her.

At 24 months and still only humming in place of speech. The Parents as Teachers lady that had visited us monthly since his birth had suggested we see an occupational therapist for testing. That he was showing signs of Autism. They checked: His throat, Hearing, Ability to walk up and down stairs, putting puzzles together, his interactions with our daughter, myself and my husband, They even measured his tongue. After the testing concluded they told me they found nothing physically wrong with him and that on some of the testing he scored on the level of an 8yr old. Told us we had a very gifted son and that I needed to ignore him for 30 seconds when I knew he wanted something and to try and force him to ask with words rather then hum.

We tried this and it never worked. My daughter at the age 12 months was saying Momma and Dadda and that is when my son began to say Momma and dadda. As she began talking more and more, He followed suit and began "catching up"

They were both potty trained at the same time, He was 4 she was almost 3.

Every day for the first year of kindergarten he screamed and threw tantrums as I handed him off to the teacher. It was heart breaking. While in class the teacher told me he would just sit at his desk, not participate in anything and stair downward. She had to hold his hand to take him to lunch and sit with him and walk back with him. where he would sit the rest of the day at his desk. She eventually got him to color and engage him in play activities but he would not play with the other children.

First grade - He was much better. He did everything asked of him. The problem was after he was finished he would get up walk around the room and start playing with puzzles and things. He would be led back to his chair but he would not just sit there til the other children were finished with their work/projects. We talked with the teacher and He had told us that he thinks my son has ADD and could be treated with medication. So back through more testing. Autism kept coming up. We were assured he did not have ADD. Finally after hours of phone calls to the school and board of education in our area. We had an appointment with a Teacher that specialized in Autism that made rounds to all of the area schools and would help us with the information we needed and where to go next.
She said he has border line High Functioning Autism. The scale was 70% and he was at 71% so she said we needed to get a Therapist diagnosis because she believed he had Asperger's Syndrom but was not qualified to diagnose it. Everything was so confusing.
After all the phone calls and frustration of dealing with Schools and Doctors and Therapists. Which took years... Time that was wasted in getting treatment earlier. He was officially Diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrom at the age of 10. He is about to celebrate his 15th birthday next month. He is in the 8th grade (We was held back in first grade)
We've had to deal with bullies cornering him in the bathroom and stuffing toilet paper in his pants pockets in elementary school. Being excluded from playground activities.
Now and thanks to Autism awareness. He has friends at school. He's very comfortable knowing he has Asperger's syndrom and has absolutely no problems telling people about it. He still doesn't understand body language or those little social cues that we take for granted every day. I've done all my own research on Autism/Asperger's Syndrom and mapped out my own goals for him and best way to get him ready for life outside the home because our insurance doesn't cover Autism related issues. The school only has an IEP and says he does not qualify for services for Autism because he isn't failing. He isn't failing because My Husband and I both work with him on any school subjects he doesn't understand. His IQ was tested 3 times over the past 7 yrs. 102, 128, and 98 were his scores. He's an A/B student. His grades fluctuate based on missing assignments. He does his homework but Somehow it never makes it back to the teacher.

Through all that we have went through (Being called bad parents, being accused of Child abuse by not only neighbors but the various schools because obviously we had given our child autism through abuse) The Looks you get at the Grocery store because your 10yr old is hand flapping and making repetative noises etc. Through all of it I do not have a single regret. My Husband and I are still happily married and both our children are happy. All of the work we have done with him... Teaching him how to joke. (Jokes before 2 yrs ago were lost on him... but he gets them now which maybe not a big deal to most other parents but to us it was monumental. He now jokes with me on a daily basis and he understands why its funny. The only real issue we have now are social cues... which he's learning and improving on those as well.

From hearing "you're son has Autism" to now. To me it just isn't that big of a deal. Life goes on. I still have the worries and concerns about when he's ready for his first apartment away from home.. Driving a car. Normal Parenting stuff. Ours just has a little twist. I am very proud of my Son, he's taught me more about life and taking things slow and it still being ok then anyone else I've ever met.

Thanks for reading :)

Hello- I found your website after watching a video clip from Nancy Grace. I laughed and cried as I read the story of your family. So many issues are the same that we live with. I am a single Mom of an almost 10 year old son who was diagnosed at 4 with high functioning autism, hypotonia and developmental dyspraxia. He is a charming, funny 4th grader who has made huge progress in all area's of his life. We have had to deal with bouts of aggression, which have been scary for me. He is currently 5 foot 1 and almost as tall as his Mom! He takes the medication Luvox to help with his compulsive behaviors. The question I have is if you have had any success with medications for your son. he seems to have an off-cycle, he is tired and lethargic in the mornings and very active at night. he has trouble getting to sleep, and once asleep has trouble waking. It has been mentioned to me that a 2nd medication may balance him out and make his cycle more "usual". My son is defiant at home and school and does not want to cooperate with requests and demands. Michael is very bright, but does not comply with school work. He often has trouble focusing, especially if it is not a subject that interests him. I am looking everywhere for information that can possibly help my son.
Thank you! Looking forward to your book.

God is so tremendous. I went on the Nancy Grace website to catch up with the Caylee Anthony case and another story on her page caught my eye. It said "Families fight for Rights" so I wanted to see the special report but instead I click on your link by mistake (there are no mistakes for God). I decided to read your story and it didn't take long for a knot to develop in my throat for I felt almost like I was reading my own story. The difference is that my son is not diagnosed yet. As a matter of fact he has an appointment this Tuesday for an evaluation.

Frankie is 3 years old; he's turning 4 this April. Since he was about 2 1/2 I began noticing something in the way he communicated to me that seem a bit similar to autistic children I have cared for in the past working at a daycare and at a Cerebral Palsy Center. When I mentioned it to his Pediatrician she immediately dismissed it saying give him time, boys take longer than girls, and you can't compare kids. One year later this answer still didn't satisfy me especially when his almost 2 year old sister was having conversations with me far better than he ever did. So I mentioned it again and told her to try to have a conversation with him. Then I got that "oh, I see what you mean". My biggest fear was that he would get to Kindergarten and the teachers would have no idea how to deal with him nor could they give him that individualize attention he needed.

From there she referred me to the best of the best E.N.T. for a hearing screening, CHKD Speech Therapist for a speech evaluation and a Developmental Pediatrician for a final evaluation. He passed the hearing test and the speech therapist said that he qualified for therapy and in her professional opinion basing on her 20 years experience Frankie could be Autistic but if he was, it would be on the mild end of the spectrum. So what happens? My insurance doesn't want to cover his speech therapy. They would only cover it if it was for restorative purposes; which means that he had the skills and lost them due to an accident. You can imagine how discouraged I became and like you I prayed like never before. I was ready to move to another state that would offer the services for free. Ready to turn my whole life around for him but at the same time was angry with God and questioned Him. Why would he make me move here and then make me move again totally disrupting our family life just when we were getting used to it like military families?]

Eventually I came across the right people who directed me to the public schools and they are handling it now. So you see, I am at the beginning of your story and I feel that God lead me to you to kind of pave the way, light my path and prepare me for what's to come. Thank you for sharing your story and your faith. It has touched me, strengthened me, given me hope and shown me that I am not alone! Please pray for me and my family and I will come back and update you on Frankie's progress. Be blessed...

My son is Autistic and he's 24 years old. What we where surprised to learn was after he graduated at 21 there where only 2 programs in our area that were day programs. We looked at other programs that they said where for autistic but, they where not up to our standards, as far as where they where. People don't realize that on a daily basis it's a struggle just to make it through that day. When we go to the doctor's or the dentist we try to arrange ahead of time to either have the first appointment or the last one. I don't know how many times we were promised this and to only get there and have to wait a half hour, and by that time my son who was sitting and waiting has lost his patience. My son does not speak and we try to do this ahead not only for him but also for the other people in the waiting room not to make them uncomfortable and have to hear him start to grunt and make a scene.

In order to have my son's dental work done we have to have him put under. People don't realize that the every day visit to their dentist is a trauma for other people. People don't realize the financial burden that is put on a family with a child with Autism.

Example: When my son had dental work done 4 years ago, my son was covered under my husband's policy at the time. Even though we had that insurance and medicaid we still had to pay out of pocket about $1800.00 for the dentist and oral surgeon who was not covered under either plan. Are insurance covered the hospital as a out patient.

If the goverment believes that SSI payments cover expenses they are dreaming; it doen't even come close. My husband works two jobs and I work part-time for years at night because my son is now home during the day and still we can't make it.

He was in a daytime program, that didn't cater to Autistic for about a year, but I took him out because they had no clue to his behavior and was told by the director that if something happen to me and my husband they would drug his a--up if he had to be put into a place. Those are his words, not mine. My son doesn't take any medication's and we prefer it that way.

We love our son unconditionally and I believe that him being Autistic, has made us closer to him since he was diagnosed.

Our life's always revolves around our son's. He comes first for everything. I do feel that there should be more day center's with qualified people who have dealt with autistic to be available. I looked at two of them and they where in industrial areas. Trailer's pulling in and no area to be outside because of these truck's coming in and out.

Having an autistic son is a full time job, it's day and night.

So what I say is that people who have children who are healthy should have to go through one day with an Autistic child and maybe they will realize how easy they have it and just love and be happy with their children and take care of them

Our daughter Taylor Jem Wichman Small is 4 years old. 6 months ago, she was offically diagnosed Autism and Sensory Integration Disorder. She first statred showing signs as an infant by our family pediatrician and since that time has been monitored closely by doctors and specialists.

When we heard the words "Taylor has Autism", it had felt as though someone threw us in a tiny box with no air and continued to punch us in the heart and stomach. We were very scared and frusterated. We had so many questions with such little answers. After reading every book that I could find and talking to other mothers experiencing the same issues, I knew that as her mother I would have to fight hard and find proper therapies, if any were available.

Each day is difficult. The costs of programs, supplements, special toys and foods has been a very hardship. I am not able to work so I can care for Taylor and her little sister. My husband is a Jr. high teacher and our health insurance is wonderful for certain areas but does not cover autism related expenses.

The hard part of autism is not being able to communicate with my child, to have her repeat everything back. Or maybe the hard part is to have people look and point. There are some people that are in denial of autism, an example is there are some people in our family that will tell us that she is still young, socializing is overrated, she is a late bloomer, she said a word to me and looked me in the eyes Taylor does not have autism.

Because of research and generous funding Taylor is able to undergo intensive therapies and is benefiting from nutritional therapies, nutritional supplements and with 2 days a week of special education preschool she improving slowly but surely. We are so grateful for her teachers, they are wonderful. Although Taylor still prefers to play alone, it is nice to see her around children similar to her. It does hurt to go to a place where children are smiling, laughing and running around, only to be sitting in the corner holding Taylor tight due to the fear she has.

It took almost 3 years to hear the word "Mommy" now I cannot wait to hear "I love you mommy", words we ask parents not take anything for granted.

Autism is something Taylor will have to live with and keep under control the rest of her life. We are hoping one day a cure may be found to help her and all of the other children that are affected. Inside of her body there is a little locked key hole and I someway, somehow will find a way to unlock it. We will always accept and love Taylor for whom she is.

Now that we have an official diagnoses, as her mother I promise to dedicate the rest of my life to help make Autism awareness a priority. We want to end the ignorant attitudes most people have about Autism and end the wrong and hurtful assumptions, looks, finger pointing that come along with it.

Taylor makes our hearts smile as well as the hearts of those whom know her. She is a sweet and good little girl and we are blessed to have her in our lives.

Taylor has taught us what love, patience, understanding and uncondtional love really is.

Remember there is no "typical". No portrait to paint. No two are a like. Like snow flakes, they resemble, yet remain unique. Therein lies the challenge for parents, patients and physicians.