Last week my sons started asking lots of questions about the 4th of July. No, not the questions about how we would celebrate or if we would go visit family or if we would have a cook out. No, their questions were about fireworks, specifically, would they have to hear any?  If you have a child with autism, you may experience the extreme anguish your children feel when they hear the loud popping noises of fireworks. I don't particularly care for loud noises either, but my kids absolutely obsess about this noise. They start worrying about a few weeks ahead of time.  Do we live in the city limits?  Can people shoot off fireworks in our neighborhood, and so on.

One morning last week, Nick said, "I wish we could just skip the month of July." I said, "oh, you want to go straight from June to August since that is your birthday month!"  "NO," he shouted at me. "I don't want to have the 4th of July."  By Thursday, the boys had made sure they knew where their earphones were and had them at the ready. We've used noise reduction earphones for a long time for loud music, loud movies, etc. We were supposed to go to Missouri for the 4th of July weekend and visit my brothers and my mother.  However, on Wednesday and Thursday when we discussed this in our family and the boys realized that there would be no avoiding fireworks, they refused to go. My brother lives in a rural area and there were definitely going to be fireworks there. I've learned to at least avoid exposing people I love to the meltdowns that something as simple as fireworks can spawn.

On Thursday evening, a neighbor set off a few fireworks a block or so away.  Nick and Will became frantic. Nick had on his earphones and was carrying the telephone around. He wanted to call 911.  I told him that fireworks were not an emergency and that he could not call 911.  He dialed the neighbor's phone number repeatedly. They did not answer (thankfully).  He left wild messages for them to stop shooting off fireworks.

Friday night was a repeat of Thursday night and it wasn't even the 4th of July yet. On Saturday, I got out ear plugs to go under the earphones. The boys had them in by 6:00, just to be ready. At the first sound of fireworks nearby, they jumped in bed and threw the covers over their heads.  They slept all night long with the ear plugs and earphones securely in their ears. Just for good measure, a gigantic storm, complete with thunder and lightning followed the fireworks.

This morning, there were smiles all around.  "No more fireworks, right Mom?" they asked in unison.  I smiled, hugged them tight and thanked God that another 4th of July had passed.  

As I was riding home from the studio after appearing on the Nancy Grace Show Thursday night, I called home.  Nick answered the phone and I asked, "did you watch me on tv?"  He said, "Mom, purple is NOT your color.  You should have worn red."  Then he hung up on me. 

I called back.  Nick picked up the phone and said, "Mom, I am mad because if you are going to be on live tv, I should be on with you."  I thought to myself, "Nick, you are the last person that should ever be on live tv without at least a 10 second delay.  He hung up on me again. 

Almost immediately, my cell phone rang and Nick said, "Mom, autism is NOT OK!!  I want to be NORMAL!!"  He was shouting at that point.  I said, "Nicholas, you are exactly the way that God intended for you to be. You are special to Him and very special to me." He said, "OK, Mom.  Will you buy me something on your way home?"  Just another chapter in our crazy, topsy-turvy world.

I have a story of my oldest son and I will try to go into detail as much as possible. I had my little boy, Seth,in 1999 as a first time mother and having never been around small children at all in my life. He was born 5 weeks premature and was in NICU for the first 9 days of his new coming into this world. He had so many breathing problems and jaundice. The hospital that he was at, I had a Registered Nurse that had been taking care of him that told me that in the last 25 years that she has been a nurse and taken care of babies, she had rarely seen a child that had the hair that he had. It was at that time brown with a silver tint to it and also the same silver tinted hair down his spine. I thought to myself that I just had a beautiful baby.

The doctor, after pleading with him to please let us take him home by Christmas, gave us the option to put him on a heart monitor and our baby got to come home on Christmas Day. We went through a lot being first time parents. I went back to work after maternity leave and on my second day of being at work, I told my boss that I just have to go, I need to be with my baby. After a 40 minute drive back to where we lived, I went to get my son from the daycare and when I walked in, he was asleep in the back of the room in a bouncy seat placed inside a crib. I walked back there to him and I realized that he didn't have his monitor on. I then asked the daycare worker where his monitor was and she said that it was in the cabinet, which was about 20 feet from him. I then asked her when was the last time that she had checked on him and then she replied "about 10 minutes ago". I then took my baby home and I discussed with my husband and told him that our baby comes first and I am quitting my job to take care of him. So I did and I stayed home and took care of him. He was on the monitor until he was about 5 months old, due to apnea.

He really seemed to be fine and was growing up so quickly and then I noticed that when he was about a little over a year old that about a month after getting his last rounds of vaccines, that he stopped saying "mama","dada","bye-bye"...and we just thought it was a time that he just didn't want to talk. He then started at the age of around 18 months with a very high pitched very fast voice talking and we really couldn't understand him and he made no eye contact at all. Then by the age of 2, he was placing around about 40-50 match box cars all lined up from one side of the living room to the other and they were all perfect and could not be out of line at all or he would get upset. I then thought that something just isn't right, so I took him to his pediatrician for my concerns that something just isn't right at all. The Doctor referred him to a Developmental Center where he was evaluated and at that time he was less than 3 years old. It was recommended that he have Physical, Speech, and Occupational Therapies. We did this until he went to Kindergarten.  The whole time, everything we have had to deal with, all the emotional and sensory issues, were overwhelming. When he got to be 5 years old my husband and I just couldn't work things out at all. I couldn't take it anymore with all the verbal abuse towards me and I will say it was never around our son.  We were together for 12 years, we were then divorced in 2004. Still trying to help our son as he was going to public school and getting picked on by so many children hitting him and making fun of him.

One afternoon I went to pick him up from school and he didn't show up outside the front of the school, after 5 minutes of waiting when the bell rang, my youngest son and I went into the school office asking where he was. An office worker went with us on the hunt for my little boy. We found him on the west side of the school on the playground and we both kept calling out to him. He was just in an absolute daze just looking around. As I was going to him, I was calling his name repeatedly and finally when I got to be about 5 feet from him, he then snapped out of where ever he was and then responded. This was one of the scariest times of my life. not knowing where my sweet boy was. With knowing how my ex-husband is, I made an appointment with the Developmental Center again on my own cause I just knew that something just isn't right with my son.

I took him to the evaluation and testing. After being there for 3 hours, all of the doctors decided that they need to see him back for further testing and evaluation, due to the tests that they had performed he didn't pass. I then was very concerned about this so I told my ex-husband about this. I then later found out that he canceled his appointment for the further testing. This was 2 years ago and my son is now 9 as of Tuesday. All I want to do is get the proper treatment or therapy for my boy, and my ex is fighting me all the way. There is so much more to this story and I really need help in trying to get help for my son.

I am the parent of an 18 year old son with autism. Michael is my second born son. My first son was colicky as an infant,so when Michael came along and he was so quiet and undemanding as an infant, I was happy with that. But shortly after his 3rd birthday, he had a grandmal siezure. He lost what spech he had and I realized that he was not hitting the milestones like his brother. Michael was finally diagnosed by age 5. I did my own research and came to the conclusion that he was autistic.

My son is my angel and although life may not have been what I dreamed of for this child, he definitely makes my life more complete. Michael is very verbal and a computer wiz. Michael has been in speech, ot pt and every other therapy since age 3. I have a million and one funny stories about Michael. Like example, Michael's birthday is in September. He loves movies(VHS and DVDS). The day after his birthday, he started writing his Christmas list.

I hope all goes well with your son and your book. I have often thought of writing about Michael life. It would definetely be a comedy.

I love to hear Nicholas pray at night. He has alway had a special relationship with God. Usually when I hear him pray, I find out all of the things that he is worried about or that happened in his day because he feels free to share those with God. He truly forgets I am even in the room beside him. 

A few weeks ago, he started his prayer by saying, "God, please help me not to be hazardous tomorrow."  That made my eyes pop open and smile came to my face.  I would certainly have to explore that thought with him later. Next, he said, "God, please help me at school.  I need to make better choices because I need to "higher" my grades so I can play basketball. I wish you could just go "poof" and make my grades higher, but that is my job and not Yours, so please help me." It was a prayer that many adults may have wanted to pray about all sorts of situations in their lives. However, the amazing thing to me was that NIck totally understood that God is not a genie granting wishes. He knows that God answers prayers, but that God also expects us to do the things we are supposed to do.

I marvel at his understanding of God. He knows God is always with him and ready to help him. He talks to God straight from his heart, as though God were sitting on the edge of the bed with him, holding his hand. Maybe He is. Nicholas gets his prayers answered more often than anyone I know. After that prayer, Nick made a 100% on a social studies test and 100% on his spelling test.  He had studied hard and God helped him clear his jumbled mind and sort out the facts in his head while taking the tests. God is good. He made Nick special and they have a special relationship.