No, I'm not a mother with an autistic child, I am a father with two autistic children. You didn't ask for my story but I am submitting two links anyway.

http://seanmacnair.blogspot.com/2006/01/fathers-story.html
http://seanmacnair.blogspot.com/2009/09/blog-post.html

These stories represent two sides of the same coin, and are as honest as I can possibly get.

Sean MacNair

I am the mother of an autistic son. He is 23 yrs old. Your story Welcome To My World really hit home in my heart, I too have days of crying and asking God why me and why Kevin? As Kevin grows so does my faith in God grow for I have a son who does not speak much but a word or two at a time, not potty trained yet, that has been fun, doesn't dress or undress or say when he is in pain. I have to find it.

Some examples in my life are not knowing Kevin had a cyst that was draining and in process of healing, since it was really close to rectum I did'nt see it until one day he bent over to pick up a toy off the bathroom floor and I saw what looked like a second rectum, I start crying calling emergency took him in to find polyanidal cyst which is fine clean and healing oh my gosh how could my own child have an owie and me not know it? Feelings of guilt set in. Why didn't I look before now. I never thought to bend him over and look. These wake up calls are pay more attention to child and world pay more atttention to God. He is there for Kevin regularly. 

Kevin had to have 2 spinal surgeries at age 16 for scoleosis. Kevin walked all the way down the hall the very next morning with a smile on his face. He needed only a little pain meds for God was holding him and his pain. Kevin has the ability to make your heart melt with his smile and he has the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen. My story may seem like rambling. I am constantly in hurricane mode with my thoughts. Even now I wonder what he is doing. While I'm typing, thoughts of him are with me every minute of the day and night. However, I feel blessed to be able to be reminded daily of how unimportant our own desires really are. I have a son that talks to Jesus and God without being able to talk to us humans. Kevin tells me granny and grandpa are with Jesus also and dancing and saying wheeeeeeeee,

I loved the short part of your story and will love to read the book. Please hurry. Thank you for reminding me I share thoughts and feelings with other women who also want to be the very best they can be with what God has chosen for them. Thank you.

I just wanted to comment on your story. It's is very much the same as mine. My 9 year old boy does not tie his shoes or brush his teeth and does not have friends, he will do these things in time because God is good all the Time. I have a little tip to give, when my son is really in a bad mood and not behaving correctly he will make a mean looking face and be very serious, i have found a way to calm him down, when he is making this face i make a very , very funny,goofy face and he does not know what to think and breaks out with wonderful laughter and this seems to calm him down. Have you try anything like this to get your child out of a mad moood?

My son was diagnosed with (nonverbal) mild-moderate Autism Feb 15, 1995 at the age of 3 1/2 years. It took some time for my husband and our pediatrician to admit there was a problem. Of coarse I read everything I could get my hands on and "early intervention" was key. Wilmington TEACCH had a year long waiting list, our school system (a different couny) had a special needs class with 18 kids, 1 teacher and 2 assistants but 1 assistant was entirely assigned to one child. This would not do. A new Wilmington had a school with a classroom specializing in Autism. He would have to go there. I began my quest with the second in charge of the Exceptional Childrens Dept. I got nowhere. He politely told me that the classroom we had visited was all they had to offer. My next step was the Director of the EC Dept. and got the same answers. THEN GOD MOVED IN. TEACCH began a new program and wanted my child to start right away. The Assistant Director of EC moved away, the Director got promoted, fired, I don't care but she was gone. Into those positions, God moved people who came from school systems that new what Autism was and what needed to be done. Trevor was allowed to go to the special school in Wilmington and 3 years later began a regular first grade class with "out of class resource" 2 hours a day. By second grade he no longer left the class for resource. I called one day to thank the director of EC and tell her the difference her decision had made, only to find out that she had moved back to her old job in another part of the state. I hope she knows how God used her and I know she is being blessed for her obedience. I only wish that I could learn to watch for God to move instead of watching the storm. I totally agree that God gave us these children for a reason. I have learned so much from my son. God is so good!

When our second daughter was born, we went home to face the most difficult journey in life. Within a few days, she began crying nonstop. She was either sleeping or crying. We saw doctors and emergency room personnel, but nobody knew what was going on. I was unable to return to work due to her fragility, and we sunk into financial problems. We made necessary adjustments to make ends meet, but its never been the same. The cost have been enormous, financially and emotionally.

She was diagnosed at 21 months of age. We had placed her in a mom's day out at our local church and the teacher noticed that she didn't play with the other children. She stayed by herself and would babble quietly. She suggested we speak to our pediatrician about it. I scheduled a "developmental assessment" at 16 months of age. He sent us to Vanderbilt University to their child development center. A Team of professionals evaluated her and gave her her "label" for life: Autism. It has defined our lives in too many ways to list, but I'll try to give a few:
*Preschool programs wouldn't take her since she couldn't stay
focused on their program. It was too much work for the teacher.
*One church asked us never to bring her back since she couldn't
keep her shoes on.
*We had insurance struggles since they won't cover her "condition".
(my husband is considered self-employed).
*Since my husband is a pastor, churches always consider that he
has an "autistic child".
*People in public places always seem to want to share their evaluation
such as "she needs a spanking", or "your child is very rude". (she
stands to close to people or tends to jump line).

Even though her autism has been a very difficult aspect of life, there are blessings along the way. She couldn't speak until she was around 5 years old. When she did began using language functionally, we would celebrate every little acheivement. Developmental milestones are no longer taken for granted. It makes you more focused on life's little blessings. God has shown me His love for the helpless and broken. When she frustrates me, God reminds me that I do the same things but he still loves me and is long suffering with my frailities.

She is now almost 13. This has brought about a new phase of development that offers new challenges. She is in school, mostly inclusion classes except for math which is SPED. She is very bright and very artistic. She draws all the time. The teachers complain that she draws when she gets bored. I send a package of school paper every week. When I check her bookbag, half of the paper is used up with her cartoon like sketches. She does extremely well with writing, spelling and vocabulary, which is odd since her secondary diagnosis is language disorder.

She still spends a lot of time in her autistic world. She loves to use the computer to enjoy her interests. She loves to ride her scooter around the neighborhood and jump on the trampoline. She has no interest in boys. She thinks they are annoying and they smell bad. She does love children. We have a 2 year old boy and a 9 month old boy. She is very helpful with the children, and will rock the baby to sleep. I'm glad she has her little brothers to care for since this makes her step outside of her selfishness and think of someone else. People used to tell me to have no more children since they could have the condition as well. I thought the risk was worth it. Having a bigger family has had an advantage for her. She will have people to care for her (and love her) all of her life.

I am more optimistic about her future than I used to be. It's difficult to keep a positive outlook when the autistic child is small. There are so many challenges that's its tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But God has a plan for every child, and that has always been my hope. I keep a scripture close to my heart to remind me "For I know the plans that I have for you...A hope for the future. I now look forward to seeing that future.