by Pat on Mar 7, 2009 at 6:31 PM
Filed in Autism Family Facts | Parenting Autistic Children | Stories from Readers
I have an 8 year old son. He is going to be evaluated in April for Aspergers. I also have 3 year old boy/girl twins. My boy has been diagnosed with Autism PDD-NOS. I wrote the following piece and have sent it to my local newspaper to see if they will publish it. I plan to send it to some of my surrounding counties paper's as well. I'm sure I don't need to share with you the ugly side of society, this is for them.
I see the way you look at us and read your mind so well. Little brat or no control? It’s really hard to tell. I’ve seen the view from your eyes and thought the same things too. Please don’t judge too quickly, as next I could be you.
Have you ever?
Have you ever wished you could hold and receive affection from your child? Have you ever wished your child would look at you the fifth, sixth or seventh time you called his name? Have you ever wished he would call you Momma, Mom or Ma? Have you ever wished your 2 year old would tell you NO? Have you ever pointed to 8 different boxes of cereal to see which box he wants because he can’t tell you? Have you ever wondered why the things he does say, he says over and over? Have you ever been blessed with a smile from ear to ear because you understood what he meant the first time he tried to tell you something? Have you ever let him eat cereal all day long because that’s almost all he’ll eat? Have you fixed pizza ten or more times a week because he’ll eat that too? Have you ever washed that special plate and bowl 2 or 3 times a day because he has to eat off of them? Have you ever had to get up from the table twice in one sitting, to wash his precious hands because they got dirty and he won’t eat until they’re clean? Have you ever let your child wear the same shirt for 3 days in a row, thanking God at least he’s wearing clothes today? Have you ever taken his shoes off and put them back on 6 or 7 times, till they feel just right? Have you ever let him wear those shoes to bed, night after night? Have you ever wondered why he tiptoed all day long and could never sit still? Have you ever let him wear a sock hat all day and to bed because the pressure makes him feel a little better and covering his ears muffles a fraction of the night time noise? Have you ever wondered why out of all the toys he has to play with, he stares at the wheels of the car he rolls back and forth? Have you ever wondered why he doesn’t play? Have you ever had to draw the Wal-Mart star or spark twenty or more times a day? Have you ever had to ask the manager at Wal-Mart for a sign, so you wouldn’t have to draw it all day? Have you ever saw the joy on your child’s face to have that sign? Have you ever had to ask the manager at a restaurant if you could let him sneak a quick look at the kitchen before he’d sit down to eat? Have you ever had to get up and leave a restaurant as soon as your food hits the table? Have you been in the checkout line, with a cart full of groceries, when a major meltdown hits? Have you ever watched people stare at you and your child like you both have the plague? Have you then had to hold your head high and bite your lip for the sake of your child? Have you ever had to convince your pediatrician that something’s just not right? Have you ever had to sit through hours of intensive evaluations, scared of the unknown? Have you ever received the diagnosis of Autism for your child?
Chances are, many of you answered no to those questions and think they are crazy. Truth is, it is crazy and it‘s real. I hold his hand until he falls to sleep each night, sometimes hours on end. I then thank God for the opportunity, to wake up and do it all again. I’m blessed to be part of his journey and wouldn’t change any of him for the world.
Autism is a complex brain disorder that inhibits a person's ability to communicate and develop social relationships, and is often accompanied by behavioral challenges. Autism spectrum disorders are diagnosed in one in 150 children in the United States, affecting four times as many boys as girls. The prevalence of autism has increased tenfold in the last decade. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have called autism a national public health crisis whose cause and cure remain unknown.
One more have you ever and then I’ll let you go, have you ever judged God‘s child, because you didn’t know?
by Pat on Feb 28, 2009 at 5:45 PM
Filed in Autism and Education | Autism Family Facts | Parenting Autistic Children | Stories from Readers | Treatment for Autistic Children
My son was born March 7th 1994. He was a large Baby 10lbs 22inches long. He topped the weight and growth charts at the Pediatrician's office. Though he always lagged behind in the milestone charts. We were assured by our Pediatrician that all child develop at their own pace. He made eye contact for only seconds at a time and then become mesmerized by my hair or clothing or any movement from curtains and things like that.
at 6 Months He began rolling over
at 9 Months he began crawling
at 12 Months he began pulling himself up and trying to walk and continued repetative babbling.
at 15 Months he was finally walking on his own and we noticed he would open and close his hands rapidly all the time. My Husband and I thought it was just something cute he was doing with his hands.
When he became excited and happy he would flap his hands stand on his tippy toes and get a really focused "pucker face" look. This is when he began humming (rather then talking).
We had taken him to the pediatrician often and always told him about the things we were noticing and the lack of "Momma and Dadda" type speech. We were assured that we had a healthy baby and that children develope at their own speeds and not to force or rush anything.
At 18months, ur daughter was born. Our son, at first did not like her at all. If I was holding her, he would try and push her out of my arms and hum at me.
He then began to mimic her. Want to drink from the bottle laying beside her. He would hold her hand and suck on a pacifier if that is what she was doing. When she would babble and coo, he would babble and coo with her.
At 24 months and still only humming in place of speech. The Parents as Teachers lady that had visited us monthly since his birth had suggested we see an occupational therapist for testing. That he was showing signs of Autism. They checked: His throat, Hearing, Ability to walk up and down stairs, putting puzzles together, his interactions with our daughter, myself and my husband, They even measured his tongue. After the testing concluded they told me they found nothing physically wrong with him and that on some of the testing he scored on the level of an 8yr old. Told us we had a very gifted son and that I needed to ignore him for 30 seconds when I knew he wanted something and to try and force him to ask with words rather then hum.
We tried this and it never worked. My daughter at the age 12 months was saying Momma and Dadda and that is when my son began to say Momma and dadda. As she began talking more and more, He followed suit and began "catching up"
They were both potty trained at the same time, He was 4 she was almost 3.
Every day for the first year of kindergarten he screamed and threw tantrums as I handed him off to the teacher. It was heart breaking. While in class the teacher told me he would just sit at his desk, not participate in anything and stair downward. She had to hold his hand to take him to lunch and sit with him and walk back with him. where he would sit the rest of the day at his desk. She eventually got him to color and engage him in play activities but he would not play with the other children.
First grade - He was much better. He did everything asked of him. The problem was after he was finished he would get up walk around the room and start playing with puzzles and things. He would be led back to his chair but he would not just sit there til the other children were finished with their work/projects. We talked with the teacher and He had told us that he thinks my son has ADD and could be treated with medication. So back through more testing. Autism kept coming up. We were assured he did not have ADD. Finally after hours of phone calls to the school and board of education in our area. We had an appointment with a Teacher that specialized in Autism that made rounds to all of the area schools and would help us with the information we needed and where to go next.
She said he has border line High Functioning Autism. The scale was 70% and he was at 71% so she said we needed to get a Therapist diagnosis because she believed he had Asperger's Syndrom but was not qualified to diagnose it. Everything was so confusing.
After all the phone calls and frustration of dealing with Schools and Doctors and Therapists. Which took years... Time that was wasted in getting treatment earlier. He was officially Diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrom at the age of 10. He is about to celebrate his 15th birthday next month. He is in the 8th grade (We was held back in first grade)
We've had to deal with bullies cornering him in the bathroom and stuffing toilet paper in his pants pockets in elementary school. Being excluded from playground activities.
Now and thanks to Autism awareness. He has friends at school. He's very comfortable knowing he has Asperger's syndrom and has absolutely no problems telling people about it. He still doesn't understand body language or those little social cues that we take for granted every day. I've done all my own research on Autism/Asperger's Syndrom and mapped out my own goals for him and best way to get him ready for life outside the home because our insurance doesn't cover Autism related issues. The school only has an IEP and says he does not qualify for services for Autism because he isn't failing. He isn't failing because My Husband and I both work with him on any school subjects he doesn't understand. His IQ was tested 3 times over the past 7 yrs. 102, 128, and 98 were his scores. He's an A/B student. His grades fluctuate based on missing assignments. He does his homework but Somehow it never makes it back to the teacher.
Through all that we have went through (Being called bad parents, being accused of Child abuse by not only neighbors but the various schools because obviously we had given our child autism through abuse) The Looks you get at the Grocery store because your 10yr old is hand flapping and making repetative noises etc. Through all of it I do not have a single regret. My Husband and I are still happily married and both our children are happy. All of the work we have done with him... Teaching him how to joke. (Jokes before 2 yrs ago were lost on him... but he gets them now which maybe not a big deal to most other parents but to us it was monumental. He now jokes with me on a daily basis and he understands why its funny. The only real issue we have now are social cues... which he's learning and improving on those as well.
From hearing "you're son has Autism" to now. To me it just isn't that big of a deal. Life goes on. I still have the worries and concerns about when he's ready for his first apartment away from home.. Driving a car. Normal Parenting stuff. Ours just has a little twist. I am very proud of my Son, he's taught me more about life and taking things slow and it still being ok then anyone else I've ever met.
Thanks for reading :)
by Pat on Feb 28, 2009 at 5:30 PM
Filed in Autism and Education | Parenting Autistic Children | Stories from Readers | Teaching Tips for Autistic Children
I am the mother of 7 year old twins one of which has aspergers/autism. He had a language delay so he has the dx of autism with aspergers tendancies, the other adhd. Alexander who has aspergers/autism is very intelligent and very high functioning, but the teachers at school insist on trying to conform him into a normal child. I have a problem with this, they want him to be able to verbally repeat directions or follow 2 and 3 step directions, he has a hard time focusing and staying on task,I told them that he has autism/aspergers it is not going to go away,and that he is not going to be able to do some of the things that a normal child can do, I don't understand why they will not focus on his strengths, instead of his weakness's.He is doing so much better in school now I thought, until I met with his speech therapist, and resource teacher. He is in the regular classroom and is pulled out during the day for speech,ot,small group work with the resource teacher. The teacher in the regular classroom is wonderful, and he does understand that his work has to be readable, and if he doesn't get to finish it he can bring it home to finish. He has an anxiety problem with completing tasks and an obsession with time and being on time.
He was with the speech therapist and he was to leave at 1:30 he was not done with the work she had given him so she made him stay past 1:30 which upset him greatly, I just don't think it is nessesary to do that, did he learn a lesson from that, no, that just ruined the rest of his day and ours when I picked him up at 2:30.That to me seems like almost torture for a child with autism, please tell me your opinion I have been searching the internet and have printed papers off on different teaching strategy's for kid's with autism, but don't seem to be making much progress with the speech therapist and resource teacher.
by Pat on Dec 20, 2008 at 1:07 PM
Filed in Parenting Autistic Children | Stories from Readers
There are no words to describe my life as a mother of a child with Autism. I feel like I have been blessed by God. My son Messiah (6 years old) was diagnosed with Autism a few years ago (Asperlger's,very mild stage). At the beginning I felt like the world was coming to an end. Now, I am glad to say that I passed the stages of anger, grief and guilt. I shed many tears and did not know where to start. Finally I realized that he needed me more than ever and that I was going to be there for him in the long run.
I started educating myself about "Autism Parenting". I did not know where to start raising a child with a developmental problem. I read more than 25 books. I even did a research paper on Autism and ADHD disorders. I can confess that all the reading and all the long nights on the computer paid off. I am helping my child in any way possible. He is currently in school and he loves it. He loves his friends, teachers and even the school principal. He is a very sociable child. As a mother, I am pushing him to be all he can be. He is unique, smart, beautiful and loving. He currently receives 3 hours of ABA Therapy at home, (Behavioral Therapy, Occupational Therapy) 5 days a week. The intensive therapy and the support from his family is helping him become a "normal" kid. I know that there is no cure for Autism, but there is hope. I hope and "I KNOW" that my son Messiah will break the walls and the barriers of Autism Spectrum. Like somebody told me one day (4 years ago, an elderly man in a wheelchair approached me and didn't even know my son's name) and I quote: "He will live up to his name".